How I learned Grace under Fire was not a Personality Trait

 

surprise him
Grace Under Fire

 

I haven’t been around much, and for that I am truly sorry. There are not very many people who currently subscribe to my blog right now, but for the people who do:

  I first off want to say THANK YOU. I am a very overwhelmed mama. I am a mother to two beautiful amazing children. My 7 (almost 8) year old is heading into 3rd grade, which in our state means he will be doing into mandatory state testing to determine if he will be sent to the 4th grade. My almost 2-year-old (20 months) has had a few health issue this year, but thankfully she is growing into a healthy capable little girl whose spunk and curiosity means that I am always trying to stay one step ahead of her toddler shenanigans. I am the wife of an amazing husband, who is in the process of launching his new business, and I work full time. I say this not to make excuses, but to help myself understand the reasons I write in the first place.  Thank you, for watching my process even if you didn’t know you were doing that for me in the first place. Thank you for subscribing to my blog, and leaving your feedback on my posts. Thank you for joining in my journey! With that being said, LETS READ!

                –Humbly Yours

Emmylee

 

 

 

Lately I have been trapped within the confines of my obsession with my anxiety and my enormous writers block. Most of it has been feeling that I cannot possibly have anything of important to say, and knowing that I had too much of importance to say. I cannot say when that changed, because it is still something that lingers even as I write this post. But at some point, I realized that I needed to give myself the same treatment that I give to everyone ese. One of the one things about my personality that I truly believed was my greatest trait was GRACE under fire.

By Biblical Definition because man is wounded by sin, he cannot easily maintain a moral balance. Through the sacraments and the help of the Holy Spirit, Christ offers the grace needed [for man to] to persevere. As a virtue, to me this means that we as children of Christ, are supposed to exude grace to others for THEM to persevere. I always thought that Grace was a personality trait. My vision of grace has always been of a woman who greeted every one with a smile, accepted compliments with a smile and reciprocated compliment. I imagined the women who experience tragedy or hardship, but still manage to lead inspiring and positive lives without being bitter. I thought that Grace as a personality trait means you were naturally more forgiving, giving, thoughtful and generally easy-going. The more I come closer to God in my spiritual journey, the more I realize that is not at all Grace.

Grace is the love of Christ that we must practice. Grace is the ability to do as Christ did with us and forgive those who do wrong or do you wrong without bitterness in our hearts. It is the ability to let your Husband know how much you love him in the midst of an argument. It is the ability to hug your child after they got hurt doing exactly what you told them NOT to do 5 minutes ago. Grace is the ability to LOVE as Christ did, even when the other party DOESN’T deserve your forgiveness.

I did the Kingdom Woman Bible study at my church a few months ago, and it talked a lot about grace being something that is more for you and your relationship with God as a woman, but also your role as woman in whatever your family dynamics are. I absolutely love the concept of Grace that was introduced in the book, and I really think that it helped me understand exactly how to be a better person.

I am always striving to be better. Call me a Virgo, but I am obsessed with the idea of “Perfection” in my life, both my spiritual and personal life. I have the goal of becoming the kind of woman that will be remembered as a Kingdom Woman who exuded Love and Grace. I’m not quite there but I have formulated a different idea of Grace (under Fire) in everyday life.

For one thing, you don’t always have to be right. This applies to all different kinds of relationships, whether it is your spouse, coworkers, or friend, its ok to allow someone else to feel right about something if it is inconsequential. I had to learn the hard way that sometimes, the need to be right can actually pull you further from Christ. I felt conviction in my heart when I would replay these incidences in my mind. At the end of the day, If I am trying to get closer to God then I cannot keep ignoring the yearning for His Word in my soul. So, when I started feeling this way, I went to the Bible and started reading. I found a few verses that turned my attitude right around.

Hebrews 12:15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled

 Essentially, Don’t poison your relationship with someone who is repentant (and even those who aren’t sometimes) with an attitude of bitterness and anger. Once you forgive someone, you really should pray that you fully release that anger in your heart before it starts to grow into resentment.

                                1 Peter 5:10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

Everyone suffers from the consequences of their own actions. Aside from showing them the Grace of God through your attitude, you cannot control anyone else’s actions or reactions. You can only forgive them and then let them deal with the consequences of their own actions. This applies for all kinds of relationships, and I have been trying to apply them to my own life. I try my best to forgive my children and love one them again after they have had their punishment and understood their actions when I have to discipline. I try to forgive my husband if we have a disagreement, and to forgive myself for my role in the disagreement which is always a huge source of anxiety for me. I try to forgive my family, my friends, and even strangers when I feel wronged, or when something happens, and then go through with whatever needs to be done from there. I am also learning that this doesn’t actually means you don’t have to deal with the consequences of your actions. I tell my children all the time “every Action has a Reaction”. This isn’t always something negative, because it certainly applies to good actions as well. I like to teach them that they have to think about their actions before they have to deal with the more “grown up” versions of peer pressure that is happening at earlier and earlier ages these days.

After feeling this tug in my soul for such a long time, I listened. I am glad that I sought God in this understanding, because being Graceful doesn’t ever have to mean you must swallow the truth, it just means it doesn’t need to be covered in the bitterness of bile. Grace is a virtue to be mastered, it will not come over night. As long as you remember to show yourself the same Grace that you will no doubt exude to your love ones, you will love the changes it makes in your life.

 

 

 

 

 Thanks for reading this long post, I know it’s been a while, but I am trying my hardest to set myself up on a more predictable schedule!!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s